amid the chaos

Busy, Busy, Busy

2008-08-30T11:37:00.002-05:00

Haven't posted in eons. Life has been getting progressively busier these days. Work, preparing for school, and getting ready for our big family road trip has just been consuming our little family. I cannot wait for this road trip. A time to escape the everyday stresses and spend time with family. It sounds wonderful.

Brothers

2008-04-21T21:29:00.004-05:00

Big brothers are wonderful.

Lady Godiva

2008-03-30T16:03:00.005-05:00

Started in July of 2007, she is finally finished.

The pattern is a detail adapted from the painting "Lady Godiva" by John Collier.

Here is her story (courtesy of Jennifer at GoldenKite.com Thank you, Jennifer!)

Godiva was the wife of Earl Leofric, a powerful Lord during the reign of the Dane Canute around 1050 AD. Leofric had raised the taxes on the people of Coventry to an unbearable level. When Godiva asked him to repeal them saying that they were too harsh, he laughingly said that he would do so when she rode naked on a horse through the town. One can only imagine his surprise when she did so, covered by nothing more than her long golden hair.

The people of Coventry out of gratitude, and to spare the Lady any shame, stayed indoors with their windows shut. All but one that is – a tailor who has become known as “Peeping Tom” dared to look out and was struck blind by God for his audacity.

Leofric kept his word and repealed the taxes.

This is the legend. But did it actually happen? There was indeed an Earl Leofric and his wife, a Lady Godgifu (meaning “God’s gift” in Saxon) in Coventry at that time. He was a Danish Lord (the King of England at that time was in fact a Dane, Canute).

She was a Saxon and a landowner in her own right and is recorded in the Domesday book (1086) as having lands in Leicestershire, Warwickshire and Nottinghamshire.

The fact that her lands are still her own at this time, when so many lands had been redistributed by William the Conquerer after the Norman Invasion can be seen a sign of the lady’s popularity (indeed those of her grandchildren had been confiscated).

Contemporary historians only mention her as the wife Earl Leofric, nothing is said of her ride. Documents show that Leofric and Godiva were great benefactors of the Church and endowed an abbey in Coventry for the education of the clergy.

The first mention of the ride is by a monk and chronicler at the Benedictine Abbey of St. Albans, Roger of Wendover, He has this to say:

“The Countess Godiva, who was a great lover of God's mother, longing to free the town of Coventry from the oppression of a heavy toll, often with urgent prayers besought her husband that,

from regard to Jesus Christ and his mother, he would free the town from that service and from all other heavy burdens; and when the Earl sharply rebuked her for foolishly asking what was so much to his damage,

and always forbade her evermore to speak to him on the subject; and while she, on the other hand, with a woman's pertinacity, never ceased to exasperate her husband on that matter,

he at last made her this answer: "Mount your horse and ride naked, before all the people, through the market of this town from one end to the other, and on your return you shall have your request.”

On which Godiva replied,

“But will you give me permission if I am willing to do it?”

“I will,” said he.

“Whereupon the Countess, beloved of God, loosed her hair and let down her tresses, which covered the whole of her body like a veil,

and then, mounting her horse and attended by two knights, she rode through the marketplace without being seen, except her fair legs,

and having completed the journey, she returned with gladness to her astonished husband and obtained of him what she had asked,

for Earl Leofric freed the town of Coventry and its inhabitants from the aforesaid service, and confirmed what he had done by a charter.”

Chronica, Roger of Wendover , listed under the year 1057

Cancer Anyone?

2008-03-05T10:55:00.002-06:00

January 28, 2008 my mother's brother, Bill, lost his 2 year long battle with cancer; he would have been fifty-two this month. Exactly three weeks later on February 18, 2008 my mother's father, also named Bill, was diagnosed with cancer of the bladder.

A little family history - the first person I ever lost that was close to me was my mother's mother. She died of cancer in her early sixties (sixty-two, i think). Years before that my Grandmother lost her mother and one of her sisters to cancer. When I was in third grade my mother's father lost his sister to cancer. I believe that all of these women died from breast cancer or breast cancer related complications. My Grandfather also lost his mother to cancer, although I do not know what kind she had. My mother's sister has had a number of benign lumps removed from her breasts and in the last year polyps formed from precancerous cells were found when she had a colonoscopy.

Given the family history, and the loss of Uncle Bill, this most recent diagnosis of my Grandfather's has not been received particularly well.
When my Grandfather was diagnosed he was living in his winter home in Arizona. He quickly decided that he would travel home, to Boise, for further testing, evaluation, and treatment. He made the trip from Arizona to Idaho safely and is awaiting the results of further testing (which will likely be received on Uncle Bill's birthday) after which a plan for treatment will be made. In the meantime, his children are trying to cope the best way they know how. There is fear and paranoia, "Who will be next?" they all wonder. There are also prayers and support for one another.

I live so far away and, unfortunately, seldom see the majority of my family. I feel somewhat removed from the current events. However, I talk often with my Mother and my Aunt so, I am kept up with news and stories of what goes on up there. I sit down here miles, and miles away essentially just watching what will unfold. I wonder what God will do for my family and those around it in this situation. I pray that His Grace and His Glory will shine through and bring them to a closer relationship to Him in their hardships.

SNOW!

2008-03-04T10:47:00.002-06:00

Saturday afternoon was a warm sunny day in our neck of the woods. So warm and sunny, in fact, that I saw more than one customer come in with sunburns while at work that evening. Now, most people welcome warm, sunny weather on the second day of March. I, however, felt a sort of depression settle in with the knowledge that this warm, sunny day marked the end of "winter" and the beginning of the road to a long, hot summer.

However, I am joyful to report that I was wrong. In the space of two short days we went from warm sunshine, to freezing cold wind and rain, to SNOW! It started to snow in the evening and had finished by the middle of the night but, it was snowing real snow (not that icy imitation) and we had a chance to play in it a little and enjoy the unique atmosphere that can only be had with a blanket of snow. The snow began to melt as soon as the sun rose this morning and will be gone by the time we are in bed tonight. Tomorrow the temperature will be back in the sixties. Yet, when all hope of any winter weather was lost for the year, God saw fit to show me that he is indeed in control and gave this wonderful gift of real snow in March in Texas.

Praise you, Lord! You knew the desires of my heart and provided this beautiful gift. Thank you.

Peace Be Still

2008-01-28T17:01:00.000-06:00

Peace Be Still by Rush Of Fools

This song is beautiful and has touched me deeply over the past couple of days. Click the lower of the two titles in the red box to start the song.

Come to Me, you who are weak
Let My strength be yours tonight
Come and rest, let My love be your bed
Let My heart be yours tonight

(Chorus:)
Peace be still, Peace be still
Please be still and know that I am God
and know that I am God

Come empty cup, let Me fill you up
I'll descend on you like a dove tonight
Lift your head, let your eyes fall into Mine
Let your fear subside tonight

(Chorus)

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
(repeat)

(Chorus)

Click here for more information about the songs
Click here to create your own MySpace Playlist

Rest in Peace Uncle Bill

It was a Merry Christmas

2008-01-09T11:00:00.000-06:00

Answered Prayers

2008-01-03T15:42:00.000-06:00

Praise the Lord!

I have been asking members of my family about their beliefs and asking about Uncle Bill and have received all the "right" answers. I am so confidant that I will be seeing them all in Heaven. What an incredible relief.
This experience has really taught me the importance of sharing the gospel and being open about my beliefs, though. What a blessing.

Will I See You Again?

2007-12-19T11:13:00.000-06:00

The exact time in my life is a bit fuzzy as are many of my earlier childhood days, maybe it's just age. Anyway, the exact time is fuzzy but I am sure that I was somewhere between the ages of 7 to 9 when I accepted Christ. Honestly, it is something that when one looks at my childhood and the people in my life then, they would be surprised by. Suffice it to say that Christ was not in the forefront of the minds of anybody that I know of or, at least not in the lives of the people who had the most influence over me. But, maybe I am wrong about that because it just wasn't something that was ever really talked about in my family. My parents were divorced and though my father is Mormon and has continued to be faithful to his religion his whole life, I rarely even saw him. My mother's side of the family, however, is Catholic. Maybe I should really say that my Grandmother was Catholic, though, because she was the one who drove others into going to church and that was only a seemingly half hearted effort attempted by some. Out of all my aunts and uncles and their families, I can only think of one who I would guess really cared about it all. To this day there are certain members of the family who attend Mass once a year on Christmas Eve for Midnight Mass only out of remembrance of her.
Given that history (and more), here I stand, unsure of the beliefs of anybody close to me from that part of my life. I can make some guesses that may or may not be correct but, I cannot be absolutely sure about any one person. The blunt question "Do you believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior?" has never been put forth. I would be willing to say that given things said by them I would guess that the answer is yes but, given certain lifestyles and attitudes of those same people the answer could just as easily be no.

Uncle Bill is very ill. He will not be a cancer survivor. It won't be long now. He is in incredible amounts of pain and is not eating. On top of that he is withdrawing from everybody and making statements about not making it to his birthday which is in March. Doctors wondered if he would make it to Christmas but, that was a major goal of his that it appears will be met. After that he has no further goals.
Uncle Bill is one who I have never seen step into a church. He is one who has openly spoken about his disregard of anything "religious". He had a difficult childhood and has shown himself over the past ten years to be a bitter, angry, unforgiving person. Not the uncle I remember growing up but, that is what he looks like now. He is still a person I love dearly and care about unconditionally. I am terrified for him. His illness and impending death has become something that is increasingly difficult for me to deal with. Getting to the point of impossible. Realizing that I do not have that assurance that I will see him again is just plain terrifying. Paired with that, have the realization that there are others I love whom I do not have that assurance about either.
How does one deal with the death of a loved one whom they do not know for certain that they will see them again? When they are not sure, or maybe even know for certain that their loved one is not a believer? The saying that they are "in a better place" really has no meaning. One cannot rejoice in their passing into the presence of our Saviour. I don't know what will happen to him.

Uncle Bill, will I see you again? Do you know the Truth? Do you believe? Are you at peace in this time because you know where you are headed next?

I wish he would answer these questions for me. He will not communicate with anyone. He is not answering his phone or returning calls. I would give anything to go up there and talk with him in person. Even if I could get up there, I am not even guaranteed that he would talk to me at all, though. I saw him just in July and did not take the opportunity to talk to him then. I hate myself for that. This whole experience has given a whole new meaning to sharing the gospel and my faith with others.

Create a Snowflake

2007-12-05T01:06:00.000-06:00

This was sort of fun, and it was interesting to see what other people created. :)

http://www.popularfront.com/snowdays/index.html?id=5192253

(growl! can't get the link to work. will have to get there by copy and paste. hope that works!)

Update

2007-11-07T17:08:00.000-06:00

Kiddo #4 is doing fantastic with the brace. She is learning how to get around with it fast and is quite determined to not let it slow her down. In fact, she has already figured out how to get it off!

I Have Missed You, I Will Miss You

2007-10-30T23:09:00.000-05:00

Christmas was always the best time of year for my sisters and I. Christmas was the one time of year that we knew, without a doubt, that Uncle Bill would be coming to visit. Uncle Bill, my mother's brother, so full of energy, stories, excitement, fun. How we loved it when he came to visit. Christmas was the only time of year that we ever saw him, except the one year he came up for Uncle Kurt's wedding in the summer. Christmas was so much more magical because of Uncle Bill; so was the wedding, come to think of it. He constantly made us laugh with his crazy stories and outlandish ideas. He would spend tons of time with us. Shopping, going to the movies, playing, or just sitting down for a chat.
In high school Grandma became very ill so, Uncle Bill moved back to Boise in order to help with her care. We couldn't believe how lucky we could be, to have Uncle Bill there all the time. He took care of Grandma but, he made it his mission to take care of Mom, my sisters, and me. He did work around the house. He taught me how to drive. He did anything he could think of that would be helpful to us.
When Grandma died things went a bit crazy. I had never realized that she was truly the glue that held my mother's family together. A huge, ridiculous family fight erupted that I still do not understand. In short, it was a mess and it ended with Uncle Bill not speaking to anybody in the family, especially my sisters and I. This lasted years, and years; somewhere around 10, I believe.

Uncle Bill, I missed you so much during those years. I missed your love, your advice, your smile, your laughter, your stories, your crazy ideas. I missed having you in my life.

Just under 2 years ago, Uncle Bill was diagnosed with cancer. In the time since his diagnoses, Uncle Bill has shed his bitter, angry attitudes and returned to the man I remember from Christmas' growing up.
I didn't realize how much I missed him and how much I wanted my children to know him until we all saw him for the first time in many years this summer. He had not even met 3 of the 4 kiddos before then. It was amazing to watch him with my children. He was just as I remembered him. And they loved him so much. I so wanted him to get to know my family, to see how wonderful they all are. I wanted him to see how blessed I have been. To see that life has turned out more than okay for me. We were not able to spend as much time with him as I would have liked, though.
Now, months later, Uncle Bill's health has deteriorated. He is in a great deal of pain and the cancer, while not spreading, is growing. His doctor says he does not have much time left, whatever that means. I find myself thinking of him endlessly and praying for him always. I cannot seem to get him off my mind.
Even in his pain and illness, he has ambitious ideas of finishing projects and traveling. He would like to travel to Texas and then to Florida to visit my sisters and me. I would love to show him my home, take him to a hockey game, share with him the people, the things, the places I love. But, I know that it is most likely that I will not be able to see him again. I am sad. I wish I could sit with him for a time and talk to him about God, to learn about his beliefs and share mine with him, to tell him about myself and my family, to hear his thoughts, his stories, his ideas and ambitions. Just one evening, Uncle Bill and me, talking like we used to, once upon a time.

Uncle Bill, I missed you all those years. I am so thankful for the short time we had this summer. I will miss you tremendously when you are gone.

Good News

2007-10-20T17:01:00.000-05:00

Due to the persistence on the part of myself and the wonderful, helpful receptionist at Synergy (the prosthetics and brace makers) the insurance company has finally relented and granted approval for kiddo #4's brace. Yesterday we went in so they could make a cast of her leg. They scheduled a follow up appointment for 2 weeks out (Nov 2) for us to return to pick up the brace.
Praise the Lord! Thank you all for your prayers!

Fantasy Football Woes

2007-10-09T09:51:00.000-05:00

What a sad day.
The points are in from all the football games this week and my team has lost, yet again. An abysmal 109 points to the PA Killer Bees' 132. Starting the season with only 1 win and 4 losses, making my poor team the second worse team in the league (yes, there is actually someone with a worse start). Peyton Manning would be ashamed to know he was on such a team, unworthy of his greatness.
Woe is me!

Fantasy football is so much more fun than I ever imagined it to be! It brings out the competitive spirit and makes watching the football games, that would be on anyway, a much more interesting experience. Now, if I could just figure out how to get the full points potential out of my team, we would be doing great! The winning streak for Gramcrackers Zoo and the Texas Coolzone must end!

What's that smell?

2007-10-02T12:46:00.001-05:00

Recently, the husband and I had an interesting conversation sparked by him teasing me about one of things I love to smell the most, new books. I love the smell of a new book! The first thing I do when I get a new book is flip through the pages, inhaling that wonderful new book smell. The husband finds this rather amusing, maybe rightly so.
This got us on the subject of what our favorite smells are. An interesting subject, indeed. I bet you can tell a lot about a person based on the things they like to sniff.
So, here is your chance to learn a little about me based on my top five smells (not necessarily in order).

1. New books (bet you didn't see that one coming)
2. Roses
3. Freshly shampooed baby hair
4. Fresh diapers (the husband finds this one amusing as well)
5. New Crayons (one of my favorite things in the world is coloring with brand new crayons, love the smell that goes along with that)

So, what are your top five smells? :)

How can you win with the health insurance company?

2007-09-27T15:43:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, kiddo #4 was an early walker. She was pulling herself up to stand before she could crawl and walking by the time she turned 9 months. Kiddo #4 thinks she is a big kid and is determined to do anything she can to "keep up" with her three older siblings. For the most part, this is not a bad thing and is actually quite adorable however, there are some problems that can develop in the physical growth/development of children who are early walkers.

When she was about 10 months old we noticed that Kiddo #4's right leg was looking a little funny and that she was not walking quite right anymore. By the time she was 12 months old and it was time for her yearly checkup her walking had worsened and her leg was more visibly bow-legged. Our pediatrician referred us to a pediatric orthopedist who quickly determined that kiddo #4 has what is called tibia vara and determined that she needs to wear a brace on her leg for awhile to correct the problem. Tibia vara is not really serious problem, it means that her tibia bone is growing crookedly because of the weight she put on her legs at such an early age. It is not uncommon although, it is not usually apparent until children are closer to the age of 2.

So, we saw a problem, we talked to the doctor about the problem, the doctor diagnosed the problem and prescribed a fix for said problem. That was the easy part, quick and easy.

Now, here we sit 8 or 9 weeks later and still no brace. Getting in with the place who makes the braces was not difficult. However, after waiting in the office for more than 3 hours we learned that the insurance company needed more information before approving the brace. After another week of waiting it was finally determined that the brace place needed to send in paperwork so, they did. Cathy, the very nice receptionist at the brace place sent in her paperwork on August 23. I finally called Cathy about 2 weeks later to find out the status only to learn that the process usually takes about 30 days. Meanwhile, kiddo #4's leg is getting worse. I called the insurance company on Cathy's advice and, of course they did not have the paperwork in yet and told me to call back in week so, I did. I called back every week. Finally, today I talked to the insurance company only to find out that they didn't actually receive the paperwork until September 24. My first question is, why would it take a month to get to them and in their system? The insurance representative kindly informed me that it would take 30 days from the date they received the letter to get the approval for the brace. When I kindly informed her that we absolutely needed it earlier than that as kiddo #4's leg is continuing to worsen she kindly informed me that they must follow the "appropriate steps" for approval because the brace is a device that will cost more than $500 and following those steps will take 30 business days. She says there is nothing they can do. This puts us into November.

Poor kiddo #4 continues to get worse. Every time I see her trip over herself or see her leg collapse under her because she stepped just wrong, I want to throttle somebody at the insurance company. My little girl is getting worse because the insurance company refuses to rush approval for her brace because it costs more than their magic number. She is also growing so, the measurements they took way back in August will no longer be good by the time the insurance comes through in November and they will have to take an additional 2 to 3 weeks to make her a new one. My hands are tied. Nothing I can say or do will make this a priority to them, they have enough clients that her little leg problem means nothing to them. I have to just sit back and wait. How does one do that? How could I possibly make them understand? This sucks.

Sorry, for my long rant. I am pretty irritated, frustrated, you name it, right now.

It's Kiddo #3's Turn!

2007-09-13T17:27:00.001-05:00

My dear, sweet, precious Kiddo #3! You are 3 today! What a big boy you are.
Kannon, there is no other like you. You are sweet and crazy and loving all wrapped up into one. You are the most adventurous of children, your lack of fear is truly amazing! :) I love you kiddo! I hope you had a very fun day on your birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Miss Chris!

2007-09-10T12:51:00.000-05:00

Well, I haven't posted anything in eons. We have been much, much, much busier these last couple months than I ever imagined we would be! I have had little time to even read anybody else's posts, let alone make any of my own. Things are going to get busier over the next couple months as I begin working 3 jobs and continue homeschooling kiddos #1 and #2 but, I have missed this blogging community and plan to make an effort to get back into it.

I thought it fitting to make my first blog back a happy birthday entry since #1 it was my friend Chris' birthday just a couple days ago and #2 a birthday post was the last entry I made. :)

So, Miss Chris, a happy birthday to you! You have been my friend since first grade and we have celebrated many, many birthdays together. I am so happy that we were able to celebrate yet another one this year. It was not a big party with a big cake but, I had a great time spending the evening with you and I hope you enjoyed yourself as well.
Miss Chris, you have been the best of friends for so many years. I love you like a member of my family and my family loves you as much as I. I am so lucky to have you as my friend and I really look forward to many more years and many more birthdays celebrated with you.

One Year Already!

2007-07-14T21:26:00.001-05:00

Happy first birthday kiddo #4, my sweet blessing baby!

Vacations and Surprises

2007-06-29T00:21:00.001-05:00

There has been something that I have just been DYING to write about for months and months and months. However, that something was a great big surprise for somebody who may or may not be a reader of this blog so, I was unable to utter a single word about it and risk blowing it. Until now. Yipee! That somebody has been presented with her BIG surprise and now I am free to write about it all I want.

It all started last August when I was talking to my little sister, who lives in Florida. She casually mentioned an idea that was suggested to her by our aunt, who lives in Idaho. It was an idea that got my sisters and I jumping with excitement. Phone calls were made from Florida to Idaho to Texas to Florida and around and around it went for months.
The plan, presented by an uncle who swears he has no recollection of ever suggesting such a thing, started out as a simple idea to get my sisters and me and all our children up to Boise for my mom's 50th birthday and ended up as the biggest surprise ever planned (and pulled off) by this family. What fun it was too!
As I mentioned, this all started last August. My mother's birthday is June 14th. So, we spent almost a year planning and organizing this thing and somehow managed to keep it a secret! By Thanksgiving the whole family (about 32 of us) knew about and became involved with the organization of this party. I still don't know how we all managed to keep it from her for so long! My Aunt Dora (the main organizer) gave out jobs and responsibilities to various members of the family and threatened us with our lives if we were to spill the beans.
You see, I moved to Texas with my husband and kiddo #1 when kiddo #1 was just 4 weeks old. I have been back to Boise a couple times to visit and Mom has made it down here a couple times. However, a few months after we moved to Texas my younger sister moved to Florida and my older sister followed her down there a couple years later. The day we left for Texas ended up being the last day that my Mom was able to spend with all of her kids together and the last day that I saw my younger sister for 7 years. My mom had 2 grandkids that she hadn't even met yet, I had 2 nephews that I had never met and my sisters had 2 nephews and a niece that they had never met. So, this surprise party was a REALLY big deal.
Anyway...

Now that I think about it, I don't know what jobs my sisters were assigned to but, I decided that I absolutely must provide the birthday cake. This presented a pretty interesting challenge because our plan was to drive up and our vacation was cut short because of work conflicts with my husband so, we had to actually bake the cake here and bring it up with us to 'assemble'. I planned a 3 tiered thing with flowers growing up the side. It took a lot of extra time and some creativity but, we figured out how to pack it relatively safely and got it up there with minimal damage.

So, with great excitement we piled into our van on June 12th for the mad dash up to Boise. The party was planned to start at around 4pm on the 14th and I had to have time to finish the cake so, we had to get up there as fast as we could. It was tiring (tiring? exhausting) but we made it. The kids were fabulous on the drive. I think they even enjoyed themselves a little. This was the first time that we had been able to go on a vacation in a very long time so, everybody was very excited.
There were some hiccups in plans on the day of the party but, it all came together spectacularly. This was the first time that my entire family had gathered together since my grandmother's funeral over 10 years ago. My Aunt even somehow managed to get my Uncle and Grandfather, who haven't spoken to each other in that amount of time, together at the same event. There were only two people missing, my cousin and her son, they were unable to make the trip up from Florida (what's the deal with everyone moving to Florida?).
My Aunt and Uncle were able to get Mom to come over to Aunt Dora's house for her birthday by telling her that my Uncle would really like to spend the evening with her and he would grill her ribs for her on her birthday. Mom is not big on celebrating birthdays but, he was very convincing and she agreed to the little party of just the 3 of them.
We planned it so that when my Mom came out to the backyard she would not be able to see those of us who had so sneakily come to town to surprise her. The rest of the family were going to yell "Surprise!" then, all her grandkids would come out of hiding (which was behind her) and say "Happy Birthday, Grandma" and give her a rose. The funniest thing was that when my niece, Ayla, the eldest grandchild called out to her, Mom didn't even turn around. Poor Ayla was running up to her and must have said "Happy Birthday" 3 times with no response by the time she reached my mom and tugged on her shirt so she would turn around. And when she finally did turn around, the look of shock was priceless! There was some speculation as to whether or not she would cry because my mom is not the type to cry. While there was no real crying per se, there were a few tears that made their way out. Her reaction made all the hard work and hard traveling well worth the effort. Her arms and her mouth opened wide and she was shaking as she tried to hug all her grandchildren and children at once. It was a wonderful thing to see.
And there was my Aunt who was really the one behind it all, hiding in a corner laughing so hard she was in tears. It was such a wonderful thing that she did for my mom, her sister. I cannot thank her enough for getting us all together up there. It was amazing to see my sisters again and to spend that time all together.

There is more to the story of our vacation. More surprises, good and bad. More adventures. However, it is late and this may just be the longest blog entry that I have ever written so, I think I will stop here and pick up the story again another day. Now, y'all know where I have been for the past few weeks, though. Preparing for the trip, making cake, more trip preparation, driving, more driving, and a week of recovery. :)

Kiddo #2 Update

2007-05-30T16:06:00.000-05:00

I have had a few people ask how kiddo #2 is doing. I want to thank you all for your concern and your prayers! It's comforting knowing that there have been people out there praying for him.

So, now for the update....
Let's see, the last post was on Monday. We took him to the doctor on Tuesday just to find out that he had "some sort of virus" and was dehydrated but, not quite to the point of needing an IV. There was nothing we could do other than keep the fever down as much as possible and try to get him to take some liquids. He was required to use the potty by 4:00 that afternoon in order to stay out of the hospital....he finally peed at 3:45! He ended up back in the Dr.'s office later that afternoon, though because he started getting a little delirious from the fever, that was a bit scary. The fever FINALLY broke last Friday afternoon and it has not come back. He is no longer hovering on the edge of dehydration and hospitalization. He has some lingering fatigue which worries me a bit. He has not returned to his normal high energy, rambunctious self. He is eating and drinking more but, again, not back to normal yet. I am considering taking him back to the Dr. but, I don't know that they can do anything for him so, have not made the decision to return yet. If he is not closer to normal by Monday we will be heading back in to see Dr. Jim.

So far, everybody else has remained healthy. I am probably speaking too soon but, it is possible that we have avoided spreading this nasty little virus.

The Shirt Says It All

2007-05-24T10:49:00.000-05:00

"Daddy thinks I'm awesome!"

Poor Kid

2007-05-21T10:26:00.000-05:00

Well, we have gone for quite sometime without the germs invading. Alas, all good things must come to an end, though. Kiddo #2 has.....something, don't know exactly what. The poor kid has had a fever for two days now. He has been very calm and very still for 24 hours now. It is about time to call the doctor.
I have to say, it is VERY disconcerting to see such an active rambunctious little boy lying so still and quiet for so long! Please pray for him.

Happy Birthday, Teya!

2007-05-05T21:06:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it has been seven years already! My sweet curly headed little angel is 7 already!
Friday was kiddo #1's birthday. I wanted to post a happy birthday message for her then but, it has been a busy couple days. So, here it is, sweetie. Just a little late.

Teya, we are so blessed to have you in our lives. I feel so lucky that I get to be your mommy.

You are such a beautiful and smart little girl. (big girl? :) )

Your patience and loving kindness towards your little brothers and sister (as well as others) is amazing. You are such a big help to me, there are some days that I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for not only being such a big helper but, doing it happily and lovingly.

You make me smile everyday. I love your silly jokes and funny stories. You have a great imagination kiddo. :)

I love that you love reading and learning new things so much. It is so fun to watch you learn and experience new things. What a pleasure it is to be your teacher. :)

You are a beautiful dancer.

You play the piano and sing beautifully.

Your love for reading the Bible and your love for our Lord is inspiring.

It has been a fun and fast 7 years. I am excited to see what the future holds for you! But, hey kiddo, let's slow it down a little, huh? We don't need the next 7 years flying by as quickly as the first 7! :)

Growing Up So Fast!

2007-04-27T11:32:00.000-05:00

The last two weeks have been weeks of major milestones for our two little ones. They are growing up so fast! Soon they will be children not, a toddler and a baby. I don't know what I will do without babies in the house anymore! It sure is fun to watch them grow. Oh, but how fast they are growing! We need to make them, especially the baby, just slow down a notch or two! :)

Kiddo #3 here has suddenly made leaps and bounds in his speech. He went from talking gibberish that hardly anybody could understand to almost conversational in a matter of days. He has been slow in his speech development, mostly because he just didn't want to, and it is just amazing to hear understandable words come from his cute little mouth. :) On top of that, he has decided that using the potty rather than a diaper really is a good idea and has given up diapers completely during the day. He still wears a pull up at night for sleeping but, I suspect that won't last too much longer. What a big boy!

Kiddo #4 is 9 months old now. She has decided that she can and will walk. She walks everywhere and only crawls if she wants to get somewhere REALLY fast. Walking! Big girl! I keep telling her that she is only 9 months old and she is the last one so, she needs to just slow it down and let me enjoy her "babiness" just a little longer but, she must think I am just being silly or something because she will not listen to reason. Then just two days ago she sees her very favorite daddy and gives him the biggest grin and says "hi, daddy!" Clear as day, there was no mistaking what she said or that it was what she meant to say. Talking?! Really, this is just getting out of hand!

Quiet! Is it really possible?

2007-04-17T15:04:00.000-05:00

Seriously, is it really possible to have the house quiet during naptime? Am I asking too much? Are my expectations too high?

Here's the situation. Kiddos #1 and #2 no longer take a nap during the day. Kiddo #2 really still needs one but, he has figured out how to keep himself awake so it's just not worth the battle anymore. Kiddos #3 and #4 still really need a nap. Naptime is at about the same time everyday. I give plenty of warnings and plan for what we will do while the little ones are napping. The time comes and the little ones go to bed, it's a pretty easy process at this point, not much of a battle to get them down. Then the problems start.
I try to do school time during naptime because it's easier for the older two to concentrate on their studies when the two little ones are not there bugging them. It seems to me that it should be fairly easy to be nice and quiet while we work. We move to the back of the house where the playroom is and close the doors behind us creating a sound buffer. Should be nice and quiet for the sleeping ones, right? Yet, it never fails kiddo #2 ALWAYS wakes his brother and sister before they are ready. EVERY day. He also wakes them up in the mornings if he gets up before them. He just CANNOT be quiet.
WHY!? Why can't he manage to keep quiet for just a short time? How can I teach him to be quiet? How can I make this important to him? Is it just not possible? Should I give up the fight?
You would think that a kid who has a father who worked nights and slept days all of his life would understand about being quiet while someone is sleeping. No, sir! Not a chance! He yells, he bangs things around, he slams doors, he runs through the house, etc, etc, etc.
I made him stay back in the playroom today because he just would not calm down. I told him that he could only come out if he had to potty, until the little ones woke up. He still managed to wake them up. Now, I have two tired and grouchy little ones and I am tired and grouchy. GROWL!

He's such a sweet kid. He has a lot of energy and gets excited about so many things. He is a joy to be around, most of the time. I just wish he could be quiet for an hour or two in the afternoon!

It's Playoff Time!!!

2007-04-11T12:47:00.000-05:00

Monday Blues

2007-04-03T08:29:00.000-05:00

What is it about Mondays? Yesterday was Monday and it was just not a very good day. In fact, the last three or four Mondays have just been...well, bad days. I can't figure out why that is. There is nothing particularly special about Mondays at our house. I don't have a Monday thru Friday job so, I am not doing the stereotypical get up and go to work Monday thing. We homeschool so, I don't have to do the get the kids up and ready Monday thing. So, why is it that Mondays have been so extra chaotic and just downright bad days? What is it about Mondays? The husband does go back to work Monday mornings after the weekend off but, it just doesn't seem like that should be a deal breaker for the day to me. Maybe that is what it is but, I am skeptical.
What is it about Mondays? The kids have been extra grouchy, whiny, and uncooperative. And the mom has been extra low on patience. Put these things together and it makes for a bad day for all of us. To top off this particular Monday, ants have decided to invade our master bathroom. Ants. In the bathroom. I HATE ants. Why ants? Why the bathroom?
It's strange because Monday should be a fun and easy day because it is music class with Gram day and mini-church for the mom and dad day. Things that we all enjoy.
I need to come up with a plan to make this day somehow better for all of us.

Haiti Day One

2007-03-23T19:37:00.000-05:00

If you know about the mission trip we took to Haiti, you know that we returned quite some time ago. Did you know, however, that the trip is still making daily impacts on many people, including myself? While there, I kept a journal of our activities and a few observations. I hope you find them meaningful, encouraging, thought provoking, or at the least, entertaining.

Friday, 26 February

Finally here in Haiti. Had a small scare in the getting here part. While in customs, a few of our bags & trunks were inspected. The "officials" there wanted to charge us tax on some mirrors we brought. It was very obvious that the customs "officials" were more well off then the other Haitians we had seen. It was also unsettling that they were the law of that time and place. Somehow, (read, "by the grace of God") we were able to convince them that the mirrors were gifts, not wares to be sold. Or maybe they got sick of arguing, but either way, 45 minutes later we moved on. A 10 minute drive to the other side of the airport. Our "taxi's" were more thrilling than a ride at Six Flags. The driver's seat in the SUV I rode in wasn't bolted to the floor. I don't think I've seen a window yet that isn't cracked. On to another wait in a packed airport. The bathrooms have nosey attendants and everything is dirty and in poor repair. We were informed that they knew we were to fly out soon, but they needed to find the airplane first. That's right... find. Another hour & a half and we're off in shiny, pretty new puddle jumper... with balding tires. We land on a gravel strip. The Jeremie airport is smaller than many north Texas homes. There isn't anyone working there. No control tower. Four trucks pack us and our 21 bags on the trip to the church. The roads redefine bumpy. Average mph? 7 at best. 1:45 drive. I'm sore and beaten. We stopped for gas in downtown Jeremie. Very crowded. Our hosts gave us a bottle of soda and a small sandwich. Chicken with catchup on a hard, dry biscuit. A young boy, maybe 7 asks for something. Rubs his belly while pointing to my sandwich. So skinny. Three of us end up splitting the sandwich. When I hand him his piece, a small bit of chicken falls on my hand. The thought crossed my mind to just drop it, but he snatched it into his mouth before I could blink. The refill takes a while. The gas is brought out of a shop in gallon containers, and poured in with a funnel. As we leave the city and wind through the mountains we see people everywhere. They all stare. Wide, wide eyes. Open mouths. I can't tell if they're expressionless, or if it's something else. Maybe they're trying to deal with the contradiction of our being there. Our presence forces thoughts about their poverty to the forefront of both of our minds. Maybe there's a spark of hope behind those eyes, yet the fear to show it. To give the hope a foothold that might not be there tomorrow.
When we arrive near our sister church, it is dark. We dismount to walk the remaining half mile to the church. The townspeople are out and waiting. There is a huge contingent of children leading us into town with a singing parade. They sing louder than you could ever believe possible from such little bodies. It is beautiful. Small hands grasp mine. Smiles light up the night as we walk. A small welcoming service greets us, and we are led to our beds. The room is small, and has bars for windows. There is one naked light bulb. Fell asleep hoping the massive spider that we killed earlier was the only one in the room.

Hope you enjoyed, more days to follow.
Neil

Prayer Request

2007-03-23T16:59:00.000-05:00

A couple things I would like to ask my friends out there in blog world to pray about for us.

First, I have a very good friend whom I love dearly. This friend is going through a very rough time right now. I am not at liberty to go into any details about the trials this friend is facing so, I just ask for your prayers for her.

Second, the husband has been unable to escape the sickies going around this year. He has come down with a pretty nasty respiratory infection that is trying to turn into bronchitis. After just a little prodding from me, he went to the doctor today and recieved an antibiotic shot and a couple of prescriptions for cough medicine and....something else. He feels pretty crumby right now and still has to go to work. Please pray for healing for him.

What can I add to my prayers for you?

More Jokes from the Little Jokester

2007-03-16T21:40:00.000-05:00

Kiddo #1 has made up some new ones that I thought would be fun to share with y'all. :)

What did the spoon say to the fork when she said she was getting married?
That's "soup-er"!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
Your Welcome!

What did the duck say to Maverick?
You quack me up!

What did the basketball say to the shooting star?
Can I shoot with you?

small smiles for you! :-)

Haven't We Had Our Fair Share?

2007-03-08T14:41:00.000-06:00

Just when it seems like we are finally getting past all the sickness going around, something else happens. Just yesterday child #3 had to go to the doctor with a pink eye infection. I just wanted to sit down and cry. It has been one thing after another after another. Now, allergy season is upon us and the misery at our house will only continue. :( I don't want to do this anymore.

All for You

2007-03-06T13:57:00.001-06:00

This song has been one of my favorites for quite some time, then I found this video that somebody put together and it really brought the meaning of the lyrics home for me. Maybe this song and video aren't for everybody but, there is no denying that it contains a powerful message.
A warning, though. The video was put together using scenes from Mel Gibson's movie The Passion of the Christ so, as anyone who has seen the movie knows, it is a bit....graphic, I guess you would say. And it is not for the faint hearted. I will tell you that I cried the first few times I watched it. But, it is really a great message and I think it's a good way to share one of my favorite songs.

Happy Anniversary

2007-02-26T16:53:00.000-06:00

Wow! I can't believe it has been eight years. In some ways it feels like it has been a lot longer and in other ways it doesn't seem like it has been nearly that long. Eight years ago today my husband and I were married. What a lucky girl I am to be married to such a wonderful man for eight years!

Eight years ago I made the craziest decision I have ever made I jumped into a car with this wonderful boy that I was completely head over heels in love with. He took me back to Seattle with him. I had no place to live, no job, pretty much no money but, I had him and I was beyond happy with that. Some friends of ours let me stay with them (thank you!). It was barely two weeks later (12 days to be exact) and we were saying our "i dos". It all happened so fast! People all around us were saying it would never last, that we were being too crazy and impulsive. The funny thing is, though, that it didn't seem like it was happening so fast to us. In fact, it was like time slowed down and I am still amazed when I think about how it was only 12 days later that we were married. It feels like it was at least a month! We spent hours and hours discussing the possibility of our getting married and what that would mean and if it was the right thing to do. It was the right thing and I don't regret it for a second. I would married him again in an instant. Wouldn't change it for the world. You get the point. :)

There are regrets about the fact that certain people were left out of the ceremony and even the decision to get married. We deeply regret and are so sorry that those people were hurt by our actions. If we could go back and do that part of it over again we absolutely would. But, the part where we ended up as husband and wife, there are no regrets there.

My husband is a wonderful person and the perfect man for me. I love him very much and appreciate every little thing he does for me more than he knows. He is incredibly intelligent and loving and sweet and a wonderful father. He makes me want to be a better person, to be the best wife and mother that I can be. He is the greatest gift from God. I am so very grateful that he is my husband and I look toward our future with great anticipation.

I love you, husband.

What Was He Thinking?!

2007-02-08T23:13:00.000-06:00

I sit down at the computer. The house is quiet. The two little ones are napping and the two bigger ones are outside jumping on the trampoline. Suddenly, the peacefulness is shattered by the screaming cries of kiddo number 2. My heart races as I jump up to run outside expecting to find blood and or broken bones. Kiddo number one gives kiddo number 2 a hug and says she's sorry before beginning to help him climb down from the trampoline. Aside from his screaming, everything seems okay. No blood, no obvious broken bones, no big bumps or bruises forming on his head, he's walking just fine. But, he is holding his mouth and screaming something about a lose tooth.
"What on earth happened here?" I must hollar to be heard over kiddo number 2's screaming.
"Mom! I kept telling him no but, he kept telling me to do it so, finally I did!" was kiddo number 1's cryptic reply.
"What is it that he wanted you to do?" I was completely perplexed.
"Swing at him, punch him in the face." she replied, hanging her head.
Oh my goodness! Why would he want her to do that?! I never did get an answer to that question.
Well, once he was calmed down and assured that he was in no immediate danger of losing any teeth I asked him, "So, do you think it was a good idea to have her punch you?"
"Noooo!!!" was the sniffly answer.

I am sure there was some sort of lesson learned. But, even if there wasn't, it sure did give the mom and dad a big laugh! :)

She's Mobile!

2007-02-06T10:23:00.000-06:00

Oh my! Over the last week the baby has begun crawling. Not only does she crawl but, she also pulls herself up to stand using anything she can get her hands on; this includes people, toys and furniture. I think that what she really wants is to walk and it won't be incredibly long until she figures out how that works. She's a fairly determined little girl!

So, now she is crawling around. Everywhere. All over the house.

We are now presented with a host of new challenges. We must baby proof, we must make sure the older kiddos keep their small toys out of the baby's reach, we must keep the poor thing from getting stepped on.

Some new challenges but, oh my goodness is it ever a cute sight to see her crawling along, following her big brothers and sister wherever they go. :)

What a Sweetie

2007-01-26T16:15:00.000-06:00

A picture of kiddo #4 taken a few days ago. Just way too cute not to share. That's her, always full of smiles and laughter. :)

The Adventure Begins

2007-01-25T13:17:00.000-06:00

They gathered at the airport at 5:45 this morning. The plane was scheduled to leave at 7:50. Day one has begun. This group of 10 people have begun their journey to Haiti. I know that at least two of them have never been on a mission trip before. I wonder what it will be like for them. Will this be the first of many? I hope the experience is a great one for them all.

Their adventure has begun. So has mine. 9 days alone with 4 kids. Some people think that is no big deal. Some people have done this many times themselves. Well, it is a big deal for this little family. I have never been on my own with them like this before. Of course, Gram is still around to lend a helping hand if needed but, I am on my own in a way that I have never had to be before. I must admit that it is a little overwhelming. I am feeling a little lonely right now.

It is about 1:30 in the afternoon right now and so far we have managed just fine on our own. There is a full schedule for the rest of the day in front of us and I am quite sure that we will get through day one fairly well. The remaining 8 days are a mystery.

I am a little excited that I will have this time to develope the routine and schedule that is severly lacking in our household. I hope that by the time the daddy comes home we will be in the swing of things integrating schooltime, clean-up time, and playtime in our days. I actually started with this plan on Monday and we have faired rather well so far. We still need to figure some things out though, and this will be a good time for the kids and me to do that. We already miss the daddy so very much, though!

So, the adventure has officially begun. I am interested to see what the next 8 days will bring.
Please pray for the group of 10 who are headed to Haiti. Pray that they stay safe and that they are able to accomplish what they are headed there for. It is a very exciting time for them, I am sure!

Prayer Hands

2007-01-19T13:35:00.000-06:00

Maybe he picked it up from church. Maybe he picked it up from watching his big brother and sister. Maybe it came from the Mom or Dad. Whatever it is, child number three has become a little boy who loves to pray. It is the cutest thing in the world!
Praying is something that has become important to him. It is something that is part of his daily routine. He will not lay down for naptime or bedtime without first saying a prayer. When he sees other people praying he wants to pray too. Sometimes he comes to me wanting to pray for no obvious reason. He would rather have somebody praying with him although, I have seen him praying on his own. The other day he saw the cat sleeping and he went over and said a little prayer with her.

Child number three is only two years old. He does not talk as well as most two year olds (probably just because he doesn't want to). When he prays the majority of his words are not unerstandable. I wonder what he prays about in those sweet little prayers. My guess is that he is just repeating things he has heard those of us around him say when praying but, maybe not. Maybe he has come up with his own things to say to God. Whatever it is that he is actually saying, it warms my heart to see those little hands go together to make "prayer hands" and to hear that sweet little voice babble away some message to God.

Back to the Real World

2007-01-17T14:22:00.000-06:00

Well, we have been home for 3 whole days now. I am still disappointed that our flight made it out Sunday evening. The husband and I had such a fantastic time. I can't even decide what my favorite part of our little mini-vacation was. Was it the just the time alone with the husband? The cold weather? The snow? The hockey game? The snowy walk down to the river? The fantastic food? I think experiencing all these things with the husband is the winner.
Our trip started off wonderful and never stopped. It was bit hard leaving the baby behind and not knowing how she was going to handle it but, as the plane took off I said a little prayer and felt the weight of worry leave me and the excitement of the trip settle in.
The flight was uneventful and felt short. I was extremely tired and tried to sleep but, as always, was unable to sleep on the plane. I did enjoy some uninterupted reading, though. When we got to Des Moines we found ourselves sharing the shuttle to the hotel with some scouts who work for the Dallas Stars and a hockey player who I think was on his way to play for the Iowa Stars. That was pretty fun. We ended up at the wrong hotel but, the 3 block walk to the correct one was worth it.
Lunch Friday afternoon was at a brewery which I can't remember the name of. The food was absolutely wonderful, the waiter was very good, and the private tour of the brewery was very interesting. I did learn that there is probably not a single beer on this planet that I will like, though. Overall it was a very interesting, educational, and pleasant lunch. A good way to spend our first afternoon in Des Moines.
I won't bore you all with a detailed description of the whole trip. Here are a few of my favorite highlights, though:
-lunch at the brewery
-taking a guilt free nap
-hockey game number one
-walking out in the cold
-drinking mint mochas from Java Joes
-waking up to snow on Saturday
-sitting on the glass for hockey game number two
-walking in the snow
-the yummiest tuna melt in the world for lunch on Sunday
-all that time to spend with husband

Due to the weather in Dallas our noon flight was cancelled on Sunday so, we got to spend a little extra time together. That was a nice suprise. As the snow began to fall in Des Moines Sunday afternoon we hoped that our 6 o'clock flight would be cancelled as well but, no such luck. We ended up being the last flight out. It was a long and bumpy flight but, we made it back to Dallas safely. I don't think we were gone long enough, though because the kiddos hardly noticed our return. Well, except for the baby. She began to cry accusingly almost as soon as she saw us. I hear that she was just fine all weekend, though. Pappy's little girl the whole time.
It was a fantastic weekend and we will have to do it again.
Now we have gotten back into our routine of no real routine. Back to work and back to parenting.

Iowa Bound

2007-01-11T14:19:00.000-06:00

It is so hard to wrap my mind around the concept of going away for a couple days without the children. Just the husband and me for the weekend. Friday morning we get on the plane and don't return until Sunday afternoon. Did I mention no children? I just can't get my mind around it! Yet, at 11:00 (or so) we will be getting on that airplane and they will be under the supervision of the Gram and the Pappy. Whoa! All I can say is THANK YOU to Gram and Pappy! Thank you for the trip and thank you for keeping the kiddos.
Why Iowa you might ask. To go see a hockey game, of course. :) The husband and I are big Stars fans. The Stars has their minor league team up in Iowa. It is going to be so fun watching the players at that level play! Players that may end up in the NHL and some who have been up and down from the NHL. I am pretty excited to see the game. Games, actually, we have tickets for Friday and Saturday nights. Once again, thank you, Gram and Pappy.
This is a much needed vacation for me. I have been totally overwhelmed since the birth of our youngest child. She is almost 6 months old already and I still haven't figured out how to manage life with 4 children and I am really feeling the effects of all the related stress. So, thank you!
Wow, two whole nights that I don't have to get up with any kids at all. One morning that I can sleep in as late as I want. A whole couple days without dragging children around everywhere I go. All this time to spend with the husband. Lucky me!
I have been worried about the baby and how she will take this. I have been worried about the grandparents and how the kiddos will behave for them. I have been assured by the Gram that they can handle two days of anything and that I really just need to get over my worries. So, this is me getting over it. I will just go and have a good time. I will not call 16 times a day to check on them. Once, or twice is okay, though. Right? :)

I Need A Friend

2007-01-10T00:07:00.000-06:00

I never really thought of myself as a person who is in need of social interaction. There are those out there in the world who just have a need to be around other people, doing the social thing. I have always been a quiet person in need of my "alone" time. Maybe it's because I grew up with two sisters who did not like me very much and preferred activities that included just the two of them so, I have been trained to appreciate time on my own. Maybe there's no real reason for it and that's just the way I am. Now, don't get me wrong. I do enjoy spending time with people and socializing. I just never really felt like it was a priority in my life. I always had friends growing up, though. Friends that I could call and chat with, or go to the movies with, or whatever crazy thing we could come up with. Lately though, I find myself lacking in friends. It has been a pretty lonely time.
About a year ago a friend of mine moved down here from Idaho. I was so excited to have her here. To have somebody close by whom I have known since first grade. Somebody to talk to and do things with. I have since learned that the paths of our lives are going in completely different directions and don't cross very often anymore. She is still single and I am married with four kids.....not a lot in common right now. Not the same priorities either.
I do have my husband. We are very close. He is truely my very best friend in the world. I am very grateful for him. Where's the "but", you ask. He's a guy. There is a difference there. He is also a home-body. He would rather hang out at home most days and I would rather get out, especially since I spend so much time here.
There are the women that I work with. There are many of them that I like very much. It's a joy to work with them. Not much has developed outside of work, though.
Honestly, I am just no good at this whole making friends thing. I often wonder what's wrong with me. How come I don't know how to make friends? I am not entirely sure but, I think I am a relatively nice and likable person. There is something lacking, though. Where have my social skills gone? Did I ever actually have any? Maybe it's just this stage in life....four small children take up a lot of time. Well, it's a pretty lonely stage right now.
I have learned of a mini-church that a lady I met through working at the church runs with her husband. I like this lady very much and our kids get along very well so, I am really excited to go and check out this mini-church and I really hope that my family fits in and we can do something about this friend situation. Unfortunately they meet on the same day my husband has his mission meetings so, we cannot go together until the mission is over. Maybe I should go without him? I have been considering it.
Anyway, enough of my whining. I hope that this new year brings new friends with it. :)

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T11:07:00.000-06:00

Well, 2006 had it's good times and hard times and a few surprises for us. Looking back on it there is so much that I am thankful for. My sweet baby girl definitely tops the list. There are moments that make me sad as well. Like Uncle Bill being diagnosed with cancer. And, as always, our Lord was there with us every step of the way, watching over us, taking care of us, and providing for us. I am so thankful for a loving Father full of grace!

As for 2007 there are already so many plans that will make for an adventurous year for us. The year starts with the husband and the Pappy heading to Haiti on a mission trip and continues with the daily adventure of life with four little ones and an actual family vacation this summer (a first for this little family). My biggest hopes for the year is that I will continue to grow spiritually and as a wife and mother. There are many little things that I hope for for the next year. It is pretty exciting to see what the Lord has planned for this little family.

Happy New Year, everybody. May yours hold some adventure for you.

Just Boys Being Boys?

2006-12-30T17:13:00.000-06:00

I did not have any brothers. Just the two sisters and me. We only had one boy cousin who lived close by when we were growing up. The result of this is that I don't really know a whole lot about little boys. I have been learning about them as my two boys grow up. Fortunately for them, they have their dad around to guide them in the ways of being a boy.
So, in not knowing much about little boys I often wonder if the things that these boys do are just normal little boy things or if they are unique to my little guys. One of those things that has been just driving me nuts these last few weeks, or so, is their apparent innate need to destroy things. Maybe there are mothers all over who are struggling with the same issue. Maybe I just have two destructive little boys who need to learn a lesson about taking care of things. Oh my goodness it drives me nuts!
It is not uncommon for us to be walking through the house or even through a store and boy number one will go out of his way to step on something on the floor. If boy number two is actually walking he will follow suit. There have been a number of toys broken by little hands and feet. There have been a number of things broken from being thrown or run over or whatever method they come up with at the time.
As I watch boy number one go out of his way to be destructive in some way shape or form and boy number two follow suit, I wince and wonder, "is this actually normal?"

Been Awhile

2006-12-27T00:44:00.000-06:00

Wow, I hadn't realized that it has been so long since we posted anything! I guess the business of the days leading up to Christmas got the better of us. That last week was pretty exhausting! I have not been online very much and missed reading all of the posts on my favorite blogs. I hope all my friends out there in blog world had a great holiday!

Well, Christmas at our house was chaotic, of course. There is no way around that with 4 small children! It was a wonderful couple of days of celebration, though. The husband ended up with an extra day off work because of an injury I suffered to my knee (there's a whole blog entry to that story!) so, we had him home for a 4 day weekend. That was nice, even with the painful knee!
Christmas Eve service at our church was fantastic. It was a bummer for the husband who missed much of it when he had to take the screaming boy out to the lobby. The older two kiddos really enjoyed the music and the story. It was funny that they didn't recognize Gram's voice as the cow. Everyone involved with the whole production did a wonderful job, we thank you. It was a great service, especially for the children.
The tradition in my husband's family is to open stockings in the evening on Christmas Eve so, we all got together at the Gram and Pappy's house after they were finished with their work at church; with the addition of one very dear friend. I do believe there was a great time had by all. We have a simple dinner with appetizer type foods that we can all "graze" on throughout the evening and, as usual, Gram had some very yummy things for us all to eat. It was so fun watching the kiddos. They ended up opening their stockings after all the adults and they were so excited about watching each one of open our little presents. They were so excited, it was as if they were getting the gifts themselves. Those kiddos are way too much fun! The Gram and Pappy put together some pretty fun stockings for us all. Thanks much. :)
After the Gram and Pappy's house we headed home to do our stockings at our house as the husband couldn't stand to wait until the morning. The kiddos were just as enthusiastic at home even though it was getting insanely late. My favorite comment of the evening was when Maverick opened a little bug magnifier container on a necklace, he said "Hey! I got a girl thing! Why did you get me a girl thing?!" Yes, because when one thinks of playing with bugs they always think of girls. Silly boy! After the opening of stocking gifts at our house the kiddos finally headed to bed. It was midnight, and I hadn't even opened mine yet! I waited for them to go to bed. The hubby and Miss Chris did an excellent job putting together a stocking for me, as usual.
Some pretty fun and useful stuff, thanks guys.
Christmas morning. The kiddos slept in until 10:30 or so. THANK YOU! We opened presents at home and then headed over to the Gram and Pappy's house. We got there much later than planned due to the sleepy little children and those two were very ready to get to the gift giving. :) It is so much fun to watch those kiddos open their gifts and get so excited about what they were given. Mr Maverick was a hoot when he opened "Mine very own scooter!" You should have seen the look on his face. And Sir Kannon with all his books, he was in heaven. Miss Teya loved her pretty little purse and has been carrying it around all day. :) Baby Faith was content to sit with Mommy and doze through the festivities. I can't even begin to describe what a wonderful gift the new computer monitor was for the hubby and me ! WOW! Love it! Thanks a million!
Gram made a wonderful ham dinner for us. I think that is always my favorite part of the day. Sitting down to eat together. There is always delicious food at Gram's house and it's so nice to have that time to just be together and talk and laugh.

So, Christmas and Christmas Eve were very fun days for this little family. We all enjoyed our time together and had so much fun giving out the gifts we had for each other. We also did not forget the reason for the celebration and were so thankful for the birth of our Savior.

I hope those of you out there in the world had wonderful holidays too.

Dear Maverick,

2006-12-14T18:50:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was your birthday. You are four now! I can't believe you are four! It seems like a very short time ago that I was holding you as we walked through the apartment singing your "sleepy Maverick" song as you cried and cried in the middle of the night. That was our routine every night for many, many nights. Weeks of nights. I think the neighbors were very happy when we moved out! So, here we are four years later and you still don't sleep through the night!

Maverick, I am so glad you are here. We have a lot of rough times and I often wonder if we will ever make it through an entire day without time outs and such. But, I am so glad you are here. You have a very strong personality and you are so smart and friendly I can't wait to see where it takes you in life!

Here are some things I love about you:

-Your big blue eyes that sparkle when you are happy.

-Your cool surfer dude hair. It really suits your personality! I love the way you look when you have been swimming.

-How loving you are with your little brother and sister.

-How you want to include your big sister in everything you do.

-How you refuse to let anything get you down. You bounce back to your happy self so quickly when things go wrong!

-The stories you tell!

-There is little in this world that scares you. You think you can do anything and you can because you won't let anything stop you. (this drives me crazy sometimes! sometimes? maybe a lot. I believe it will get you somewhere, eventually, though.)

-You have the cutest smile.

-Your fashion sense cracks me up! :)

Maverick, you are such a bright, happy, caring little boy. The people who get to know you are truely blessed. You drive me crazy and you know exactly which buttons to push to make me frustrated or angry but, you also make me smile and laugh and want to hug and kiss you until you can't stand it anymore. Life with you has been an adventure. I can't wait to see what year four will bring.

This makes me sad

2006-12-05T09:46:00.000-06:00

I have a friend. A very dear friend whom I have known for many years. This very dear friend of mine is a Christian. This very dear friend of mine hates Christmas. Not only Christmas but this entire holiday season. You see, this friend of mine grew up with parents who were divorced, like me, and, for her, the holidays were about getting passed around from one family to the other and eating more holiday dinners than one person could possibly digest. This friend also has a step-mother who's Christmas focus seems to be purely about the gift giving and this upsets my friend, understandably as that is not what the holiday is really all about.
All that is sad. But, what really makes me sad is that this dear friend of mine doesn't seem to want to get over her dislike for the holidays. She is now out of the situation where she must continue to have the same holiday experiences she had growing up but, she is not over her feelings of dislike for this time of year. I guess it's because it's only her second Christmas away and she has not had enough time to get past it yet. I feel sad for her that she is not able, or maybe not willing yet, to just enjoy the reason for the holiday and celebrate. There is such joy in celebrating the birth of our Savior with friends and family, people that you love. There is such joy using this time to show the people you love how special they are to you and sharing our love for Jesus with each other. I am so sad for her that she is missing out on that joy. I pray that this year she will start to experience it and maybe begin to enjoy her self just a little bit. I wish that there was something that I could do to help her but, I have tried and nothing has worked, she still feels miserable and insists she doesn't like it. I will pray for her.

Happy Birthday to You!

2006-11-29T11:34:00.000-06:00

Happy birthday my most wonderful husband!

If I had the time and a hand that wasn't broken I would have made you a way cool Stars or Raiders cake for your birthday. You deserve it!

You are the greatest of husbands and Daddy's. We appreciate all that you do for us, how hard you work for us!

Let it snow!

2006-11-25T14:12:00.000-06:00

I love snowflakes! I mean LOVE them. I think they are incredibly beautiful and fascinating. One of God's spectacular creations.

A bouquet of snowflakes would make a beautiful gift. As beautiful as any flowers, to me.

I mean look at them. How could one not be amazed and thrilled at the beauty He created in the snowflake? And think, no two are exactly alike. No two in the countless number that fall to the earth in just one snowstorm. The scientists say that is true because of all the factors that go into making just one snowflake such as temperature, humidity, wind, where they form in the cloud, etc. How awesome is it that He created the complex conditions to make each beautiful snowflake unique?

How awesome is it that He created each one of us to be as unique and beautiful in His eyes? He has an endless imagination, doesn't He? :)

I not only love snowflakes themselves. I just love snow! I always have. I can remember always wanting it to snow on my birthday when I was growing up. Snow is so much fun! There are so many things that a person can do in the snow. There's skiing, downhill or cross-country, there's snowball fights, snow angels, snowman building, sledding. The possibilities are endless! :) I love getting all bundled up in scarves and gloves, coats and hats, and boots to go out and play in the snow. I love coming back inside and drinking warm cocoa or coffee. Snowy days are my favorite!

The snowy days are rare here in Texas. Maybe one a year. I miss the snow!

I say "let it snow'"! And the next time it does snow, pause for a moment and enjoy the beauty God gave us in the snowflake. :)

2006-11-23T11:15:00.000-06:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, FRIENDS!

(bummer, couldn't get the picture to post. imagine a country road with trees full of beautiful fall colors.)

:)

Thank You, Mom

2006-11-20T17:15:00.000-06:00

January 3, 1977 was a snowy day in Salt Lake City. It was also the day that Mom gave birth to her first born daughter, my older sister. Mom says that that day was the worst snowstorm of the year so far. As far as I know, everything went well and my sister was a healthy, beautiful baby girl. She is healthy and beautiful now, anyway. :)

Roughly six weeks later, much to her suprise, my Mother became pregnant again. Six weeks, or so, is not nearly enough time for the body to heal after childbirth. My Mother's doctot told her that it was too soon. He told her that her body would not be able to take it. He told her that it was a risk. He told her that she needed to end the pregnancy.

Mom said absolutely not.

November 20, 1977 was another stormy, snowy day in Salt Lake City. Mom says this day was the worst snowstorm that they had had so far for that winter season. She says the drive to the hospital was pretty scary. This was the day I was born. 10 1/2 months after my sister.

I don't know exactly why my Mom made the decision to go through the pregnancy and have me. I never asked, I think I will. She says she doesn't remember what the pregnancy itself was like, or the delivery. She does tell stories about how hard it was to have two babies that close in age, though.

Thank you, Mom for ignoring the doctors. For taking that risk. For making the decision to let me live. For putting it in God's hands.

I know that I was not the easiest daughter to have. We sure did have some rough times. But, we sure do have a wonderful relationship now. :)

Thank you, Mom that I have a birthday to celebrate today.

Thank you, Lord for a Mom who would make such a hard choice and put herself at risk just to have me. Thank you, Lord, that I have a birthday to celebrate today. Thank you, Lord for this blessed life!

2006-11-18T22:12:00.000-06:00

I've squeezed my way under 2 ton valves the size of a Suburban on the bottom of a 90,000 ton warship without a second thought. Yet I have this confession to make: When tape gets on my fingernails, be it scotch, packing, or duct, my panic button is pushed. MUST EXTRICATE NOW!!!!!

Random Late Night Thoughts

2006-11-15T00:17:00.000-06:00

It's late and I have a feeling that it is going to get much later before I am able to get to bed. The baby is sick and is not sleeping well. Actually, not sleeping at all at the moment! Last night I managed about 2 1/2 hours of sleep, hopefully we'll do better tonight.
So, anyway, it's late and I am exhausted. If I sit down and do some mindless TV watching I will fall asleep. I have a feeling that it would not be a good idea to fall asleep and leave the baby awake, and sick, all by herself. So I will sit here and share the random thoughts of a tired Mommy and hope that she gets bored or, miraculously gets better and goes to sleep. And sleeps the rest of the night? No, that's asking too much at this point.

-Once again, just about everyone in our little family has been sick over the last two weeks. It frustrates me that this happens so often and lasts so long.

-Insurance from the Daddy's new job doesn't kick in for about another month. It's not a comfortable feeling, having 4 sick kids and no insurance.

-Wow, is it WINDY tonight! Glad the Husband cut down the dead tree in the backyard this past weekend.

-I really love being a member of my church!

-I feel a bit disconnected from said church lately. Maybe it's because we have missed much of our normal time there over the past couple weeks due to the sickies. Maybe it's because everybody I meet have already been there and known each other for years. Maybe it's because I am a pretty shy/quiet person and I don't really know how to make friends.

-It's pretty sad that a person my age doesn't know how to make friends!

-I find it interesting that everytime I start thinking about giving up the blog somebody tells me that they enjoy reading. Then, I think, maybe I should keep writing?

-We were going to be able to get the foundation on the house fixed in a few weeks. Probably not, now. Disappointed.

-Got to talk to Mamma the other day. Still miss her. I am so very happy for her that she is loving her new business of breeding Persian cats, though. She has even gone international with one of them heading to England!

-Mom turns 50 this year! Little sister is 26 now! Big sister will be 30 in a couple months! Somehow all that makes me feel old. :)

-My birthday is Monday. Hubby's is 9 days later. Wish I could think of something special to do for him. Creative brain cells fled with the rest of them.

-Baby asleep now. Will give her a few minutes to make sure she stays that way before I attempt heading to bed.

-Hurt my hand this weekend. REALLY hurts now. Wonder if something is broken? Think so. Maybe not. Wish I could find out for sure without a no-insurance run to the x-ray machine!

-Can't believe it's the middle of November and the air conditioner was running today. I am really hating the warm weather this year. Mom says "Maybe you should move to Idaho? I hear it's nice there." She lives in Idaho. :) Funny, Mom.

-It is so cute that when you tell Kannon that it is naptime or bedtime he runs to get his juice cup and climbs into the crib to wait for me, or Dad, to tuck him in.

-I was watching early, and I mean early, news when I was up with the baby sometime last week. They had a story about the invention of the year. Youtube.com beat out the cancer (is it cervical cancer or ovarian cancer?) vaccine for invention of the year. That's crazy. The news anchors thought so too.

Okay, I think she will stay asleep long enough for me to lay down for at least a few minutes so, it's time for me to go. Besides, all this typing is killing my hurt hand! Hope everybody out there in the world is staying healthy! Please pray for the baby that she gets better instead of worse. Thank you.

I Miss My Mommy!

2006-11-10T14:14:00.000-06:00

I haven't seen my Mom in almost 2 years. That doesn't really

seem like a long time when I write it but, it feels like forever!

My Mom and I are a lot alike. We haven't always been able to get along.
Probably because we are so much alike. But, we have a very close relationship
now. We talk often.

Mom was not able to come down and visit when the baby was born because she
needed to take care of her brother who is going through chemotherapy treatments
for cancer. She wasn't here when the boys were born either but, I really missed
her this time. Maybe because this was the last baby. I know she was where she
was really needed but, it sure would have been nice to have her here.

Mom. How funny that I keep calling her that in my writing. I have always called
her Mamma or Mommy. I occasionally call her "Lady" as well. She
thinks that is funny. Mom has a pretty good sense of humor. I remember laughing
with her often as we grew up.

Well, I don't really have anything deep or enlightening to say (not that I
usually do). Just that I really miss my Mom and that I hope that I can see her
soon.

Little Jokester

2006-11-05T17:57:00.000-06:00

Our oldest child cracks me up. She loves telling jokes and makes up many of her own. She is incredibly creative and inventive. Here are a few of her favorites, some she made up on her own, some she did not.

What did Santa say when Rudolph sneezed and blew the neighborhood away?
There glows the neighborhood! (she made this one up just this morning)

What did the cow say when he tripped in a play?
Oops! I made a moostake! or See you next fall!

Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the mooovies!

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate (8) 9!

Where does Vesuvius always go to eat?
Dome-inoes pizza! (she says "get it?! because volcanoes have domes!")

These are a couple of the jokes that crack up a 6 year old on a daily basis. I am so thankful that she is here to bring a smile to my face. :)

Wonderful Night!

2006-10-29T01:35:00.000-06:00

My husband and I are hockey fans. Dallas Stars fans. Friday night we were watching the game on TV, there was an advertisement for special prices for Saturday night's game. Lucky us! We managed to get great seats for a great price and great babysitters in the space of about 15 minutes. What a wonderful suprise for us! So, tonight my husband and I got to go out together for the first time in MANY months. We had to take the baby with us because she still won't take a bottle but, somehow it still felt like a date. We had a wonderful dinner together and watched a pretty exciting game. The Stars even did us a favor and won the game. :) It's a rare treat for me to get to spend time like that with my most amazing husband and it was so very wonderful!

Thank you, Lord, for life's wonderful little suprises!

This Season

2006-10-23T13:55:00.000-05:00

The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:1 that "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

There are seasons in marriage, seasons in parenting, seasons in aging, seasons in spritual growth. There is season for just about every aspect of life. Seasons within seasons, around seasons, under seasons, in front of and behind seasons. And now the word season is beginning to sound and look funny! :)

Anyway, in class the other night there was some discussion about the seasons of parenting. There is the messy season of the years with younger children, the hectic season of the years with school-age children, the worrisome season of the teenage years, and finally the season of the empty nest. Each season has it's own characteristics and challenges.

My family is in the messy season of the early years. The 4 children range in age from 6 years to 3 months. Did I mention messy? There is always something that needs cleaned, something that needs fixed, somebody who needs their bucket o' love filled, somebody who needs disciplined, and the list goes on. I don't think I could get caught up with everything if I had a live in maid and nanny! And the noise! How did I not know that life would be so noisy in this stage?!

Within this messy season of early childhood is another season. A season that I am not enjoying. So far this season has lasted 3 or 4 weeks and has no forseeable end.
This is a season when the Mommy (and the Daddy) must assert herself as the disciplinarian and remind the three older children who is boss. Particularly with the two boys. We have been blessed (blessed?) with two strong-willed little boys. One of which who is VERY strong-willed. These two sweet, loving, adorable, strong-willed boys have, for some reason, decided that now is the best time to assert their strong wills and test every boundary that has been put in place for them. Every single one!

Here is the problem...I am NOT a strong-willed person. I am what you would call compliant. A compliant Mommy with strong-willed boys is not a good combination. At least, I don't think it is. I find myself letting them win battles that they should not win without me even realizing what has happened until it is all over. I feel like we are in a war and I am losing. It has been a very hard few weeks and it will continue to be hard until I win the war....well, at least until the next war season.

I don't like this season. I am not having fun. I am tired physically and emotionally. I can't wait for this season to end. I don't understand why I have been given this challenge.

I gain comfort in this verse from Ecclesiastes 3:11:

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

What to write about?

2006-10-19T14:10:00.000-05:00

Well, I haven't posted for awhile. I haven't been able to come up with anything good to post about. Blogger's block I've heard it called. Life has been busy enough that I have plenty of material, the creative juices just haven't been flowing as of late. So, I thought I would just make a list of some things that have been tumbling around in my mind. Maybe one of those things will delevop into a post. Maybe not. :)

So, here is what is floating around in my head today.

...the washer machine is broken and I only have a couple pairs of clean underwear left! Gram, I'm coming over, hope your washer machine is available! :)

...I don't want to spend the money to get the washer machine fixed, there are much more interesting things to spend my money on.

...I hate my daughter's cat. It is an unreasonable hatred, I know, but I just can't stand the thing. But, getting rid of it wold break her heart and I am not willing to do that so, I need to get over it.

...I REALLY want a dog. But, if I were to get a dog I would be the official litter box cleaner AND pooper scooper and I don't know if I want that responsibility. I think so but, maybe I'm wrong.

...I have a wonderful husband who I love very much and, I don't think I have done a very good job of letting him know that lately.

...I would really like to go out with my husband this weekend. Who wants to babysit? :) :) :) :)

...having two very strong-willed little boys is very difficult for this very not strong-willed mommy.

...Kannon thinks that whining and crying is the only way to communicate with me. I know that it's my own fault. It makes me sad.

...I need to lose 50 or 60 pounds.

...the house is a mess inside and out and I should be working on cleaning it up instead of sitting here writing.

...my husband's Aunt invited me to visit her in Pennyslvania for a special shopping trip in December. I would really like to go.

...I LOVE this chilly weather today! Too bad it won't last a little longer!

...I have really enjoyed this whole blogging thing and the people I have met because of it.

Uh-oh. The baby is hungry. Time to go back to the mom job. :) I hope all you friends out there in blog world are having a good day!

Saftey at the Edge of a Cliff

2006-10-14T15:15:00.000-05:00

Ever been afraid to grow? I have. Afraid of a change in priorities. A new sacrifice. The person I might become… or how that person might be viewed. The latest fear? What if I fail? What if I make the sacrifices, change the priorities, and, "suffer," in this world, and still fail to realize the gain in the next because I make that one, catastrophic mistake. (pretty selfish, huh?)
Catastrophic mistake. A "big" sin. What is that, exactly? Every sin is equal in God’s eyes, so why the ranking system in our world? I guess it's related to the consequences. The bigger the fallout of our actions, the, "worse" the sin was.
Consequences. Who can determine the consequences of our actions? The quick answer is us. The real answer is God. Choices are our responsibility, but what happens as a result of those decisions is entirely up to God. We can take all the right steps and still have problems in this world. We can make a colossal error and suffer little in terms of tangible punishment. The good part of this, great part, is that God is in control of this world. The scary part is, I make many mistakes, and on a regular basis. What’s to keep the consequences of my, “little” sins small, predictable, and, “manageable?” Only His grace and mercy.

For a long time I’ve had some, “white knuckle verses.” (like hanging onto the edge of a cliff)

Phil 4:6-7 – Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I think I’ll add these to the list:
Hebrews 12:5-6 – “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son……….v11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

I love knowing that He’ll keep working on me, no matter how stubborn and messed up I am! And I am quite stubborn… just ask my wife. :-)

What are your white knuckle verses?

TSP

Something in the Air

2006-10-10T21:27:00.000-05:00

There seems to be something in the air these days. Something that is making so many of us tired and cranky. I know how it is, I am there too. Maybe it's the germs floating around spreading their illnesses and making us all worn down. I have spent the last two weeks not feeling well, the last two days being the worst. I pray that my immune system will win the battle very soon and I will be restored to my normal chipper (?) self. I imagine that my family prays for that day as well!
I feel like listing all the things that have been bugging me but, I already made a post like that recently and I didn't feel any better afterwards. So, instead, here are a few things that make me smile, that I am thankful for.

The rain this morning.

The cool weather supposedly on the way.

The Stars starting the season 2-0.

Kannon dancing around and singing to himself.

Teya getting me some water to help me feel better tonight.

Maverick giving me big hugs all day.

Ember and her big smiles and how she "talks" to me.

Neil taking such good care of the kids while I laid down, feeling yucky.

This wonderful marriage I am in.

This family we have created together.

Gram and Pappy.

My "job". I love the children that I care for and the people I work with.

Pizza, delivered.

NHL center ice...thanks Pappy!

Ice cream.

Chocolate milk.

My Momma. (Yes, I do still actually call her that)

Sunsets.

Swimming.

I could write more but, the baby is crying so, it's time to go.
I pray for all of you out there who have also been feeling tired and cranky as of late.

Blindsided by God

2006-10-08T13:18:00.000-05:00

A slap to the face from the postman wouldn't have surprised me more. Certainly wouldn't have hurt as much. And now, two weeks later, though the memory of the wound is fresh, a different, yet stronger wave of emotion has swamped me. Call it Grateful amazement. Every time I turn around I'm smacked by Romans 8:28 in 48 point Trebuchet Bold. God's grace, mercy, provision, and protection have been in place and evidenced in every phase of my life. In every circle I've come across. (especially the blogger's circle :-) ) But I don't know if my heart would've seen it a mere two weeks ago. I can hardly sing during worship. I have trouble making out the words along with the speaker's scripture reading. But these are tears of Grateful Amazement. I never would have touched so many in this way. But God did. Why would I be so surprised that His ways are perfect, and more powerful than I could ever imagine?

Isaih 40:13 Who has understood the mind of the LORD, or instructed him as his counselor?
Isaih 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

TSP

Happy Hockey Day!

2006-10-04T13:06:00.000-05:00

Yipee! Today is day one of the new hockey season and I am so excited to watch the games tonight! How funny it is that I used to hate hockey and now I am so anxious for the season to start! GO STARS! :)

Never Enough, Never Finished

2006-10-02T20:47:00.000-05:00

It's dark now and mostly quiet. A stray cough from the kid's rooms, Monday Night Football, and the dryer (that thing's always running)round out the background music. There are some days, many days, when that list doesn't get shorter... even when you've crossed a lot of items off. There are some days, many days, when I can never help enough, never have enough will, energy, or determination to finish. Or start. Or even come close. Why do I wait until the breaking point to look to the Father for help? Why don't I give him each day from the start? Some days, many days, even when my focus begins heavenward, I try to do it all for Him -by my strength. I need His. Even so, the messes of my many 'flesh days' take time to mop up. Some days, many days, I feel like I'm failing.
- A sensitive, caring wife who pours herself out on our family
- Amazing children who have enough energy to put Exxon Mobil out of business
- A family to lead and serve
- My own disaster of a soul to straighten out
- A Savior to follow
I'm awed into a stupor and thankful beyond measure that Jesus' work is enough. His work is finished. And he has enough left for me.
TSP
Thanks for the invite, Hun. It's a nice change of pace.

Why so grouchy?

2006-10-02T13:20:00.000-05:00

Today is a grouchy day. I should get over it. It is a beautiful day out and I am sure that there is something I could be enjoying doing right now. So, what is making me grouchy today?

...had to clean the litter box...HATE cleaning the litter box!
...dumb cat peed in the toy box....AGAIN
...it took Mav almost 2 hours to do a job that should have taken 10 minutes because he just didn't feel like obeying
...feel like all I have done is discipline all day long
...everywhere I turn there is something that needs cleaned up...all this mess makes me feel agitated
...outside the house is just as bad
...more bills to pay today than there is money to pay with today
...still too fat to fit into normal clothes but, not big enough to fit in the maternity clothes anymore
...tired of always wearing husband's clothes...want to feel like a girl again
...tired
...tired of being tired
...have to mop the kitchen...HATE mopping
...have to do laundry
...have to vacuum
...have to clean the bathrooms
...have to get the play room cleaned up
...have to pick up the boys' room
...have to fit school time in there somewhere
...wanted to cross stitch during naptime...can't
...can't sit here for five minutes to write without somebody demanding assistance or attention
...Mav and Teya arguing...AGAIN

How do single moms do it?! I feel totally exhausted and overwhelmed!

Maybe I can get 5 minutes to sit down with my Bible. It's only 1:30...it could end up being a fun day afterall. Just have to get rid of this grouchy attitude first.

Welcome

2006-10-02T13:16:00.000-05:00

I have invited the amazing husband to join my blog. He is also an amazing writer so, I hope any readers that we have will enjoy his contributions.
Welcome, amazing husband.

What makes this life chaotic

2006-09-29T23:43:00.000-05:00

Big sister Teya. Unbelievably intelligent and beautiful.

Maverick. The name says it all.

My favorite picture of Kannon taken by big sister Teya.

Sweet little Faith Ember. Can't wait to see what she is going to be like!

Thank you, Lord for this chaotic life.

Angry

2006-09-29T15:28:00.000-05:00

I got the email and listened to the recording of Sunday's announcement/sermon today.
I have been through many emotions this week. Up and down and all over. But, I had not really felt angry until today when I listened to that sermon again. I didn't think that I would feel anger at all. I don't want to be angry. I wish this emotional response would go away. I don't know why listening to the sermon again would trigger this kind of emotion. People keep saying that it is normal to feel angery about what has transpired so, I guess I am just being normal. I hope I can get back to being abnormal soon.

I admit

2006-09-28T14:55:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that days like yesterday are unfortunately not the norm for me. Usually I let all that stuff get to me and I end up so grouchy and irritable that I am miserable to be around. HOw terrible for my poor family. Depending on God to get me through the day instead of trying it on my own always makes for a more pleasant ending. So, why don't I just do it that way all of the time?

Bad day? Could have been.

2006-09-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

It had all the makings of a very bad day.
My sweet little Faith Ember decided that 5:30 was the best time to wake up for breakfast this morning after finally going to sleep after midnight again.
Maverick was awakened at around 6:30 when he heard Daddy getting ready for work.
I had to start getting ready for work by 7:00. There was no more sleeping for a tired mom. I have a hard time maintaining a loving patience when I am exhausted. Sorry kiddos, Mommy does try.
The inevitable sinus headache from the cold front comming our way was beginning to set in.
My stomach hurt.
My heart hurt (still does).
Teya and Kannon were extremely whiny and clingy. They don't feel all that great either.
The house is in desperate need of a major clean up. As usual. I just didn't have the energy to do it. As usual.
I can't seem to shake all this stress that has been weighing me down lately.
And many other small things that I could add to the list.

All the makings of a bad day.
Yet as I sit here, waiting for Ember to settle down and be ready for sleep, after midnight again, I think back on the day and have only pleasant thoughts. How can that be? It felt like it would be impossible to make it to bedtime this afternoon. How can it be? It's because there is a wonderful Lord up there that provided me with the strength and energy I needed and a bit of help from my amazing husband. I don't know verses from the Bible by memory or even where to find them for the most part but, I do know that somewhere in there we are told that if we ask we will receive. I asked and here I am at the end of what could have been a bad day with a smile on my face. Well, not quite on my face, that would take more energy than I have at this point but, it is in my heart. :)
Thank you Neil, my amazing husband, for giving me those last 10 minutes of your lunch hour to just lay down and rest while you took care of the girls. It was more helpful than you can know!
Thank you, Gram for letting us come over and swim and for providing us with dinner.
Thank you Lord, for giving me the strength and energy I needed to get past the tiredness and pain and actually have fun playing with my children.
It could have been a bad day. But, it was a fun afternoon and evening swimming and playing with the kids and spending time with Gram who really needed to spend some time with us instead.
What a wonderful God He is.

It's time for sleep

2006-09-25T23:47:00.000-05:00

Hmm.....
How do you get a 10 week old baby to go to sleep when she doesn't want to? I had 3 children before her, you would think that I would have that one figured out. No. Not at all.
There she sits in her swing, looking at me with those big, beautiful, blue eyes...wide awake.
I love this quiet time that we get to spend together when everyone else is asleep. However, it's midnight now and it has been a very long day. I am ready to go to bed.
Too bad for me that she is not.

What can I say?

2006-09-25T15:53:00.000-05:00

After receiving shocking news yesterday, I spent the morning reading all the blogs that I could find that were written by people from my church. I found myself with an intense desire to connect with other people and find out what their thoughts and feelings are. The result? I find myself feeling incredibly blessed to be a member of such an amazing church family. The grace and love illustrated in those blogs that I found and read was overwhelming.

I don't know what I could possibly say that would encourage others the way that I have been encouraged by others; yet, I feel myself driven to start one of these crazy blog things of my own. Maybe all this will do is help me to get to know these people and help them to get to know me. If that is all I get from writing, that would be worth it.

What happened yesterday was shocking and heartbreaking. I find myself unable to stop dwelling on it. I get distracted by something the kids say or do, only to get stuck right back with thoughts of yesterday's news. Maybe writing about it will help me close that door, if just for a little while. But, I just don't know what to say.

I feel such a great hurt for the family, for EVERYBODY in the family. I feel such a longing to DO something. What? I have no idea. What could I possibly do that would be worth anything to them? Nothing. They don't even know me. All I can do is pray for them. And that is what I will do. I will pray for their healing. I will pray for the healing of our amazing church family. I will pray that people will have forgiving spirits and that they will choose to support the healing of everyone involved. I will pray for the good that the Lord will bring out of this.

I feel a great sense of loss. I was supposed to experience the legendary teaching of a wise woman in a class about mothering this fall. I feel robbed of her ministry. I am comforted in the knowledge that there are still other women with wisdom to share with us. Yet, my emotions are still screaming "It's not fair!" It's not fair to lose the opportunity to learn from such a great teacher either. I am feeling very selfish in that. How.....human of me, I suppose.

I am a bit scared as well. I don't particularly like change. A big change like this is scary. What will happen next? How will the people of our church react? People have told me to expect a drop of at least 50%. That is scary because my job depends on people coming to church as well as the giving of those people. But, besides my job security, I love those people, and their kids, who I care for and I don't want to lose their presence in my life. Once again, I am being selfish.

There is a man out there. I wonder what he is feeling? I wonder what he is thinking? I wish I could embrace him and tell him that it will be okay. Somehow it will be okay. I wish I could tell him that he has my support, not my judgement. That he has my love, not my anger. That he has my understanding, not my criticism.

There is a woman out there. I wonder how she is feeling right now. How will she begin the healing? I wish I could embrace her and tell her that I understand. That she has my support and love. I am in awe of her strength....to sit through all four services yesterday. Truely amazing. I wish to thank her for her show of support at a time when she was in such great need of support for herself.

What can I say? What can I do? I don't know. I don't know.

We are all human. We are all fallen. We are all sinners.
How wonderful is it that there is a God who is always forgiving and will always love us?
It is beyond comprehension.