Will I See You Again?

The exact time in my life is a bit fuzzy as are many of my earlier childhood days, maybe it's just age. Anyway, the exact time is fuzzy but I am sure that I was somewhere between the ages of 7 to 9 when I accepted Christ. Honestly, it is something that when one looks at my childhood and the people in my life then, they would be surprised by. Suffice it to say that Christ was not in the forefront of the minds of anybody that I know of or, at least not in the lives of the people who had the most influence over me. But, maybe I am wrong about that because it just wasn't something that was ever really talked about in my family. My parents were divorced and though my father is Mormon and has continued to be faithful to his religion his whole life, I rarely even saw him. My mother's side of the family, however, is Catholic. Maybe I should really say that my Grandmother was Catholic, though, because she was the one who drove others into going to church and that was only a seemingly half hearted effort attempted by some. Out of all my aunts and uncles and their families, I can only think of one who I would guess really cared about it all. To this day there are certain members of the family who attend Mass once a year on Christmas Eve for Midnight Mass only out of remembrance of her.
Given that history (and more), here I stand, unsure of the beliefs of anybody close to me from that part of my life. I can make some guesses that may or may not be correct but, I cannot be absolutely sure about any one person. The blunt question "Do you believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior?" has never been put forth. I would be willing to say that given things said by them I would guess that the answer is yes but, given certain lifestyles and attitudes of those same people the answer could just as easily be no.

Uncle Bill is very ill. He will not be a cancer survivor. It won't be long now. He is in incredible amounts of pain and is not eating. On top of that he is withdrawing from everybody and making statements about not making it to his birthday which is in March. Doctors wondered if he would make it to Christmas but, that was a major goal of his that it appears will be met. After that he has no further goals.
Uncle Bill is one who I have never seen step into a church. He is one who has openly spoken about his disregard of anything "religious". He had a difficult childhood and has shown himself over the past ten years to be a bitter, angry, unforgiving person. Not the uncle I remember growing up but, that is what he looks like now. He is still a person I love dearly and care about unconditionally. I am terrified for him. His illness and impending death has become something that is increasingly difficult for me to deal with. Getting to the point of impossible. Realizing that I do not have that assurance that I will see him again is just plain terrifying. Paired with that, have the realization that there are others I love whom I do not have that assurance about either.
How does one deal with the death of a loved one whom they do not know for certain that they will see them again? When they are not sure, or maybe even know for certain that their loved one is not a believer? The saying that they are "in a better place" really has no meaning. One cannot rejoice in their passing into the presence of our Saviour. I don't know what will happen to him.

Uncle Bill, will I see you again? Do you know the Truth? Do you believe? Are you at peace in this time because you know where you are headed next?

I wish he would answer these questions for me. He will not communicate with anyone. He is not answering his phone or returning calls. I would give anything to go up there and talk with him in person. Even if I could get up there, I am not even guaranteed that he would talk to me at all, though. I saw him just in July and did not take the opportunity to talk to him then. I hate myself for that. This whole experience has given a whole new meaning to sharing the gospel and my faith with others.

Create a Snowflake

This was sort of fun, and it was interesting to see what other people created. :)

http://www.popularfront.com/snowdays/index.html?id=5192253


(growl! can't get the link to work. will have to get there by copy and paste. hope that works!)