I Have Missed You, I Will Miss You

Christmas was always the best time of year for my sisters and I. Christmas was the one time of year that we knew, without a doubt, that Uncle Bill would be coming to visit. Uncle Bill, my mother's brother, so full of energy, stories, excitement, fun. How we loved it when he came to visit. Christmas was the only time of year that we ever saw him, except the one year he came up for Uncle Kurt's wedding in the summer. Christmas was so much more magical because of Uncle Bill; so was the wedding, come to think of it. He constantly made us laugh with his crazy stories and outlandish ideas. He would spend tons of time with us. Shopping, going to the movies, playing, or just sitting down for a chat.
In high school Grandma became very ill so, Uncle Bill moved back to Boise in order to help with her care. We couldn't believe how lucky we could be, to have Uncle Bill there all the time. He took care of Grandma but, he made it his mission to take care of Mom, my sisters, and me. He did work around the house. He taught me how to drive. He did anything he could think of that would be helpful to us.
When Grandma died things went a bit crazy. I had never realized that she was truly the glue that held my mother's family together. A huge, ridiculous family fight erupted that I still do not understand. In short, it was a mess and it ended with Uncle Bill not speaking to anybody in the family, especially my sisters and I. This lasted years, and years; somewhere around 10, I believe.

Uncle Bill, I missed you so much during those years. I missed your love, your advice, your smile, your laughter, your stories, your crazy ideas. I missed having you in my life.

Just under 2 years ago, Uncle Bill was diagnosed with cancer. In the time since his diagnoses, Uncle Bill has shed his bitter, angry attitudes and returned to the man I remember from Christmas' growing up.
I didn't realize how much I missed him and how much I wanted my children to know him until we all saw him for the first time in many years this summer. He had not even met 3 of the 4 kiddos before then. It was amazing to watch him with my children. He was just as I remembered him. And they loved him so much. I so wanted him to get to know my family, to see how wonderful they all are. I wanted him to see how blessed I have been. To see that life has turned out more than okay for me. We were not able to spend as much time with him as I would have liked, though.
Now, months later, Uncle Bill's health has deteriorated. He is in a great deal of pain and the cancer, while not spreading, is growing. His doctor says he does not have much time left, whatever that means. I find myself thinking of him endlessly and praying for him always. I cannot seem to get him off my mind.
Even in his pain and illness, he has ambitious ideas of finishing projects and traveling. He would like to travel to Texas and then to Florida to visit my sisters and me. I would love to show him my home, take him to a hockey game, share with him the people, the things, the places I love. But, I know that it is most likely that I will not be able to see him again. I am sad. I wish I could sit with him for a time and talk to him about God, to learn about his beliefs and share mine with him, to tell him about myself and my family, to hear his thoughts, his stories, his ideas and ambitions. Just one evening, Uncle Bill and me, talking like we used to, once upon a time.

Uncle Bill, I missed you all those years. I am so thankful for the short time we had this summer. I will miss you tremendously when you are gone.